I'm Nicole Fisher. I design spaces for a living, crafting those wow moments our clients get to enjoy every single day. And I've spent the last 13 years figuring out what people really want versus what they think they want. Turns out that applies to basically everything in life. So pull up a chair. This is the interior perspective. Welcome back to the Interior perspective. I'm really excited to talk to you about something close to my heart today. And that is the moment I decided to hire an executive assistant. This was a key component of buy back your time. And as I mentioned in the last episode, the book really reframed how you think about time and hiring people to buy back your time for things that cost you money, take up your time in ways that is unnecessary, and don't make you money. So for me, that was a massive shift. Realizing that 80% of my day was really being spent on ad admin work. And hiring someone to take over that admin work was key. And a lot of people have assistants and don't necessarily know how to use them. And this is a key component to success when you bring someone on like that because they have to own your inboxing calendar. And when I first had my first ea, it was amazing. She came in and was a seasoned ea, so she came in with, I mean, processes and systems and just simplification of things that I was not privy to, like travel and calendar management and bookings and client communication and all of these things that were really daunting and took up so much of my freaking time. And she came in and just streamlined all of that. And my. My staff saw this, like, immediately. It was like a weight had really been lifted off of my shoulders. And it was the first time that I really felt like I had made the right decision. I was moving in the right direction way. I was finally doing things strategically, and it felt so good. At the same time, I was still really bogged down on my personal life, and that is showing up as a mom, showing up as a wife, showing up to make sure your house looks perfect and make sure the gardener shows up and all of these, you know, doctor's appointments and school events and therapy. There was just so many things that didn't fall within that, like, framework of the business that I thought was still my job. And I think that's where I failed. I failed with not allowing the EI to really take over personal just as much as business, because one flows right into the other. I think especially as a working parent, you can't have one balanced and the other One chaotic that just doesn't work. But, I mean, I was. I was embarrassed. There was a part of me that was. I never would let someone into that inbox that had my therapist, that had my doctor, that had finances, that had. There was so much information in there that I just didn't think was appropriate to really pass off and allow someone in at that level. And I think as women, we think delegating that personal side of who we are is somehow negative. I think there is such a. There's. There's so much negativity around not being supermom about not doing the most. And honestly, it's ridiculous. It's just. It's not possible we put ourselves to such a high standard, an unachievable standard. And, I mean, although I had so much support on the business side, I had no support on the personal side. Granted, my husband is, you know, as close to super dad as it gets. He is the. Honestly, he's the primary parent in my relationship and in my household. So I have the support for my son, but I didn't have the support for me. And I think sometimes people think that's selfish. I'm sure people listening right now will say that that is a selfish thing for me to say that. Why. Why would I need that level of support? But in honesty, I can't show up as a boss, I can't show up as a leader. If you don't have that level of support. And when your mind is just taken up by things that they don't need to be, it diminishes what you're able to do creatively. It diminishes what you're able to do from a business perspective. I think there was a real correlation between my energy home and energy at the office. So I think it's worth talking about because I went through four years, and by the fourth one, it was all right. Nicole, I think it's a you problem, not necessarily them problem. I wasn't setting them up for success. I wasn't setting them up to be these really key players in my life. And by the time I hired my latest da, I fully committed to handing over the personal stuff because I realized it was the one thing holding me back. I couldn't. Couldn't be that person I wanted to be without that level of support. And, oh, my God, works. It really makes a difference. And I think we need to start being okay with outsourcing. We need to start understanding that being superwoman is not necessary, that we have to be okay asking for help and Be okay knowing that you can't nor you should you do it all. That doesn't make you a better person. It just makes you more burnt out. And when I got to that point, the other side is a beautiful thing. So I am certainly somebody who needs and has had my calendar compartmentalized. I, unfortunately, I do have to put on my calendar family time. Unfortunately, I do have to put on my calendar my son's events that I want to go to. I can't sit here and pretend that I go to everything now or that I am a PTA mom or that I make the Valentine's Day gifts for all 20 kids in the class. That's not me. And honestly, that's never going to be me. I have to pick and choose what is important for my energy and what I have the brain space to do. And I think part of that is knowing my strengths, knowing who I am as a person. And I. I think the. The funniest part about all of this is my. My staff saw an immediate difference when the personal side was gone, and then my husband saw immediate side. I'm sorry. My staff saw and made difference when the business side was gone and my husband saw an immediate difference on the personal side was gone. But the learning curve was actually how to manage that relationship because. Now he has to work with my assistant to do personal things. So, you know, there is no cutting out the middleman. Everything has to go through her. We can't just be, you know, deciding things off the cuff that might work and might not with respect to my time. And it's been a learning curve for my relationship to say, that's great, cool, let's do that, or let's do this with our son, or let's, you know, plan for this. But you can't take out that middleman. And that middleman is my ea. I have been pushing back on what that means and what I've started to do with my husband, which has turned into something that I really value, is we are setting aside time in both of our calendars. Once a week during the workday, for an hour we're at, he and I meet virtually, and that's the time that we discuss our family stuff. Because I have to be able to take off the CEO hat when I go home so that I can be present. When I start to bring in all of the chaos of the day, all of the chaos of the personal stuff into our regular conversations, then I start to get inundated and I start to feel like crazy again. And putting aside the Time to say, this is when we talk about those things. This is when we talk about like what when the gardener has to get paid. This is when we talk about the mortgage. This is when we talk about the family finances. This is like these are the times when the boring, more family things we have to talk about get talked about. And I come up with an agenda. He has his own agenda. And it's that time that we get to do this. Everything else goes through her. Everything else goes through my ea. And you know, I know most couples don't work this way and I think you should give it a shot. It works really well. And it became this boundary for me that has really served our relationship so well. And I have to say it's one of the most pivotal decisions that I've made for my brain space because I know my strengths, I know where I are really good. I know when I should be talking about certain things because I have the energy to do so. When I'm deflated, if it's at the end of the day, that's not the time for me to talk about, you know, the important hard hitting things of our family. I can compartmentalize my calendar. Time to know when I have to give energy and when I can receive energy. And it's been a really hard journey to get there. But I have come to peace with the fact that this is who I am, this is what I need. This, and this is how I'm going to show up and be a much better mom and a much better wife and a much better leader. So I encourage you to dig deep, know your strengths and your weaknesses. They're not necessarily negative. If you learn how to work with them, you'll be better for it. Thank you for joining me on this bit more vulnerable journey that we're taking here. As we come back to the interior perspective. Stay tuned next week. That's it for today. If something landed, send it to someone who really needs to hear this, like subscribe. Come back next week and if you need more in the meantime, you can find me at Nicole R. Fisher and everything. NFI at Nicole Fisher Interiors. See you next time.